With the Sweet Comes the Sour

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me well enough that I’ve been having an incredibly difficult year. While I won’t go into the finer details of the entire situation, I will say that I have a long and difficult road ahead of me and I know that the only thing holding me back is myself, and that is something that needs to change quickly.

To begin with, my grandmother died in January. She was a lifelong smoker and after discovering something in her lung, and heavy pressure from her kids and grandkids, she decided to have it removed. Unfortunately, she never recovered and didn’t even make it out of the hospital. She survived on a respirator for about two and a half weeks, but after no improvement and basically being pronounced brain-dead, the family made the difficult decision to take her off the respirator. After my wife and my mom, my grandma was the most important woman in the world to me. She practically helped raise me and it’s no secret that I was her favorite grandkid. I don’t say that to be arrogant, or to make anyone feel bad. It’s just the way it is. That’s how close we were. And although she had many faults, in my mind she could do very little wrong. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt in that many of those faults were just a product of the environment in which she was raised and her turbulent relationship with my grandpa.

The rest of it can all be filed under ‘W’ for ‘What the fuck was wrong with me?’ These issues are slowly getting resolved, but as I said, I need to do better. I need to be more focused on what I need to do to correct mistakes and get back on the right track. Here’s to it.

My Fascination with “The Daily Show” Pays Off…Sorta

‘Tis the season to be…sick?  So this week has pretty much sucked.  Beginning Friday night with Marley, and then Adam and I yesterday, and now Rusti today, all four of us have been horribly sick in the past five days.  It’s ridiculous, but the good thing about it is that it only seems to be lasting about 12 hours or so.  But it really knocks you down in that 12 hours.  I literally couldn’t do anything yesterday except sit on the couch and make trips to the bathroom if I felt my stomach acting up.  Adam alternated basically laying on the couch and puking in a trash can and puking in the toilet.  Altogether he threw up like 15 times, though when he was asked about it, he said, “I threw up twenty-eight times!”  And since Rusti was at work yesterday while we were sick, my mother-in-law pretty much saved the day and took care of us and Marley even though she herself needed to sleep because she had to work last night.  We both get to feeling better and then Rusti starts feeling it.  So it’s been a little crappy around here.  No pun intended.  But I’m feeling much better now except for I seem to have a catch in my throat like I’m getting a cold or something, but I can live with that.

On a better note, I found out that a local music blog/production company is hiring for a couple of positions that I am interested in.  So I sent them an email, and hopefully I’ll hear back from them soon, because that would be awesome!  Since I’ll have all online classes next semester, my schedule will be much more open than previous semesters, and it would be great to bring in some money doing something I actually like.

Either that, or I could just go on this new show, “The Million Dollar Money Drop.”  Have you guys seen this show yet?  It has to be way more intense live, because these questions just seem easy as hell.  And these people are losing a lot of money on stuff that I wouldn’t even second guess myself on.  So far there’s been three couples, and only the third couple left with any money, and it was only $80,000.  The first one was the best though because playing along at home, Rusti and I made it to the final question with $900,000.  And the final question asked “According to TIME, who did people say was the most trusted newscaster in America in 2009: Brian Williams or Jon Stewart?”  I almost jumped out of my seat and cheered like I had just won the $900,000 and said, “It’s Jon Stewart!  It’s Jon Stewart!”  Rusti asked if I was sure, and I assured her I was.  After much deliberation by the contestants in which they noted that Brian Williams was on NBC Nightly News and Jon Stewart was on Comedy Central (both are correct of course),  THEY PICKED BRIAN WILLIAMS!  Oh, I felt so bad for them.  They had just lost $800,000 on one question only two questions before that (on a question I got right!), and then they lost their final 80 grand on a question that, to me, was extremely easy.  The second couple only made it to the sixth question, I think, before losing all their money.  It’s a fun show, and it has good play-at-home ability which is basically the most important element to a successful game show.  It’s on FOX every night this week, through Thursday at least, and the first few episodes are already on Hulu.

Day 30 – Reflection

Technically, this is late, but oh well, at least I got here.  I’m supposed to write myself a letter telling myself everything I love about myself, but I kinda handled that on Day 1.  I guess maybe they were expecting me to unveil some deep truth within myself and maybe I’d have a different viewpoint, but no.  And with the trouble I had finding a question to fill the last hole, I don’t wanna go that route again.  So maybe I’ll just blog.

This thing has been taxing, fun, nostalgic, and a host of other experiences and emotions.  I want to personally thank each and every person who read any of these posts, and anyone who regularly reads my blog as well as any subscribers that I have.  I’ve gotten more siteviews over the last month than I have ever had on here, and that is pretty exciting, because I like the idea of getting my thoughts out into the world.  I tried to make it a point to not include any personal blog posts while I was completing the 30 Days of Truth meme because I wanted to stay focused in that mindset the entire time.  That being said, I missed some key moments.

A belated Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays to everyone.

A big thank you to current and former military personnel for everything (ethically honest) that they do so that others don’t have to, and everyone should honor the victims and courageous people who were part 0f the attacks on Pearl Harbor.  We all know Michael Bay, Ben Affleck, and Josh Hartnett did a crappy job of that.

December 8th was the 30 year anniversary of the shooting death of John Lennon and the 6 year anniversary of the shooting death of Dimebag Darrell of Pantera.  No explanation is needed as to why John Lennon was significant to me, or anyone really.  He was a proponent of love and peace, and although some of his methods were unconventional, his heart was simple and pure.  As for Dimebag Darrell, I became a fan of Pantera fairly quickly after becoming a fan of Metallica.  I had the pleasure of meeting Darrell at a local concert and he was completely humble, and one of the nicest musicians I have ever met.  The same is true of his brother Vinnie, who I have met on several occasions around town.  Worldwide Darrell probably won’t ever be as significantly remembered as Lennon, but to those who knew him best, and for people like me who only met him briefly, he is every bit as worthy of our respect.

Day 29 – How Do I Deal With Anger?

Originally, this was supposed to be “Something I Hope to Change About Myself. Why?” but as stated before, I’m tired of those types of questions.  So I did some Googling and after sorting through all the childish MySpace survey questions like “Favorite Color?” Orange or “Favorite Ice Cream?” Ben & Jerry’s Willie Nelson Country Peach Cobbler, I found this question and I liked it.

I probably don’t deal with it in the best manner.  I have a bad habit of just suppressing it until something ignites it and then I’ll rehash it.  I never explode or get physical  or anything like that by any means.  But I’m sure the built up frustration coupled with the immediate ignition can be a little much to deal with.  I try to make sure I handle it in the appropriate ways, but depending on the issue, or the situation I’m in at the time, that doesn’t always work.

Day 28 – What Would I Do If I Got Someone Pregnant?

The chances of me getting anyone besides my wife pregnant are less than zero.  If my wife were to become pregnant, there’d be an initial freakout period, but then we would just deal with it like we deal with everything else.  There ya go.